Seven Points of Mind Training

Point 6 : Disciplines of Mind Training

30: Don't be so predictable.

Point Six : Don't be so predictable.

Commentary :

The literal translation of this slogan is " Don't be consistent," but is more like " Don't be so kind and faithful, so guileless." That is to say, an ordinary person or man of the world would have some understanding about his relationship with his enemies and his friends and how much debt he owes people. It is all very predictable. Similarly, when somebody inflicts pain on you, you keep that for long-term storage, long-term discussion, long-term resentment. You would eventually like to strike back at him, not forgetting his insult in ten or even twenty years.

This slogan has an interesting twist. To begin with we could use the analogy of the trustworthy friend. Some people are trustworthy people, traditional people, maybe you could say old-fashioned people. When you become friends with people like that, they always remember your friendship, and the trust between you lasts for a very long time. In the example of the trustworthy person, you should always remember your connection with him or her and his or her connection with you. But if somebody gives you a bad deal, or if you have a lot of conflict with somebody, you should not constantly hold a grudge against him. In this case, the point is that you should not always remember someone's bad dealing with you. This slogan is somewhat confusing, but the point is to give up altogether your long memory of antagonism.

Usually everything we do is predictable. When we have something good happen - for instance, when someone brings us a bottle of champagne - we are always trying to repay that kindness with something else, like inviting them for dinner or saying nice things. And how we relate when something bad happens is the same. We are usually predictable in how we do that as well. Slowly we built up society out of that.

When somebody is about to inflict pain on us, we usually wait until they actually strike us and are unkind to us. We wait for that person to begin to write bad articles about us. Then we have made an enemy out of somebody. That is not the proper approach. The proper approach is to make friends immediately rather than waiting for something to strike. Instead of waiting until a person commits a sin or acknowledges his aggression toward you, you communicate immediately and directly. So you are communicating directly rather than waiting for strategy. That is precisely what the commentary says, and that is what we are trying to practice at this point.